Dear Saffron;
Today is not a great day. L is slipping back into her depression and I don’t know how to handle it this time. Everything seems so much more difficult this time. Maybe it’s because I didn’t live with her last semester and now I notice how draining she is.
I want to help her, I really do. But L isn’t willing to help herself and that makes it even more difficult for me. How can I help someone who doesn’t want to be helped, but openly whines and complains about how bad her life is? Maybe I’m just not supposed to. I’m so confused…
L also hates Christmas. Anytime I say anything about Christmas, I get shot down. I am sick of it. I’ve told again and again that I don’t like her saying things like that, but she never gets it. I am a Christian. I go to church regularly and I am active in my church community. I celebrate Christmas mostly it is about Jesus’ birth. I love the story, the lights and decorations, I love the food and the music. And of course I love the presents. But for me, Christmas isn’t about the presents. It’s about my family and it’s about Jesus. L is half Jewish. But she doesn’t live in a kosher house or follow any of the rules. It’s only her religion when a test falls on a high holiday. That way she can use the religion excuse to not write it. Why should she be able to tell me when I can or can’t listen to Christmas music, or when I can say Merry Christmas? I am so angry over this.
I am also struggling to get my schoolwork done. L keeps annoying me and interrupts me non-stop. Bah! I have exams in 2 days, I don’t have time for this.
Oh, Saffron, I wish that L could/ would go back to being the girl she was when I first met her. Fun-loving and open.
Love, A
